This is the day that I usually dig out my resolutions from a year ago, and go through them. I check to see what I succeeded with and what I no longer even wish to pursue. I write up my new list taking some of the things from the past I'm not quite done with and some new ideas and I prepare for the next year of my life.

Not this time.

In this past year I have celebrated birth, and mourned death. I have done things I never thought I could, and a few things I said I never would. I've gained a deeper understanding of family and love and peace. I've put to rest a few vices, and picked up a few new ones. I went to places I had never been before, and I returned to places I had avoided going back to for far too long. I have learned to appreciate sounds I once disliked, and I have learned to value moments of silence more as well. I've dealt with illnesses, and enjoyed times of health. I've laughed until I cried, and cried until I laughed.

I've lived and learned a lot this year. I think the most important thing I've done though has just been letting go and letting it happen.

That's my greatest lesson of 2008.

Life will not adjust itself to my schedule. It happens when it chooses to. It brings events and people into your life, and it removes them from it when and how it sees fit. You can try to resolve to take certain actions and strive for them...maybe even succeed in a few, but its all just a crap shoot really.

I refuse to beat myself up over not meeting some silly goal I set for myself a year ago just because I wrote it down, and I won't write any down today to torture myself a year from now. A year is a much longer period of time than it feels like looking back. I'm not the same woman I was on December 31, 2007...and I doubt I'll be the same person I am now on December 31, 2009, so how can I possibly set goals for the stranger I'll become.

So, in 2009...I'll just simply live. Live and strive to appreciate every moment of it for all that's its worth, and to find joy, love, and humor in as many places as possible.

Happy New Year everyone. Love ya'll *hugs*


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